As a Rooted Coach, I am often asked by church leaders what I look for in a small group leader. I believe that leading a small group is one of the most important volunteer roles in the church.
Group leaders set the tone for community, discipleship, and spiritual growth.
While there are many many traits I look for while recruiting, and even some non-negotiable things I require to lead in this capacity, over the years I’ve noticed that there are 3 things that every great small group leader does consistently.
And the good news? Your existing leaders can begin practicing these 3 things this week with your encouragement. And if they do, they can begin seeing results immediately.
Here are the three essential practices.
1. They Don't Teach, They Facilitate Conversation
Great group leaders understand that their #1 responsibility in leading a group is to facilitate great conversations. No matter what material is being used for a group meeting time, people are more engaged when the leader is focused on facilitating a conversation as opposed to teaching or lecturing. When leaders focus on listening and guiding discussion, people feel safe to share, process, and grow. A healthy small group isn’t measured by how much the leader talks, but often by how little they do.
The Apostle James gave the perfect model for facilitating a group:
”My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” - James 1:19
Be Quick to Listen
Great group leaders are quick to listen. Really listen. Being “quick to listen” creates a safe space for authentic faith conversations. Sometimes, someone may share something that’s… well, theologically off.
Your first instinct might be to correct immediately—but often, the best growth happens when we let them finish and even allow another group member to respond first.
When you truly listen, without interrupting or showing frustration, you empower the group to process together. Some of the best moments in my groups have been when a peer gently corrected another member before I even had to say a word.
Someone in the group will say something like, “My understanding of this verse is _______”, or “I was always taught ______”, and as a leader I don’t even have to step in. This doesn’t happen if I interrupt, cut off, or lecture. Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry are the best three bits of advice for how to facilitate a great conversation.
2. They Don't Do It All, They Delegate Intentionally
Great group leaders delegate responsibilities. Sharing responsibility creates buy-in, ownership, and opportunity for others to use their gifts.
Here are a few simple ways to delegate within your group:
- Facilitation: One person leads the conversation each week
- Hospitality: Someone else hosts the group
- Food: A detail-minded person organizes the weekly meal or snacks
- Socials & Service: Another person plans group hangouts and service projects
When multiple people contribute, the group feels more like family than a class. Plus, delegation develops new leaders, ensuring the small group is a training ground for future disciple-makers. Leading a group can be hard, leading alone is even harder. Healthy groups, like healthy churches, engage every part of the body in service.
3. They Understand the Power of Before and After
Great group leaders understand that the most important moments of each group meeting time might actually take place in the moments before and after the conversation.
Often, the life-changing conversations happen:
- Before the meeting: In the kitchen, over coffee, or while setting up
- After the meeting: In casual one-on-one chats, or when someone quietly asks, “Can I share something with you later?”
These are the moments where trust is built and real-life struggles come to light. Being ready for whatever someone shares before or after the actual meeting is key. This is when relationships are built. This is when small talk leads to real talk.
Great leaders show up early, engage intentionally to build relationships, and stick around afterward. They know discipleship happens in the margins as much as in the meeting.
One Final Thought: Start Building Better Groups Today
Leading a small group is one of the most rewarding roles within the body of the church. Begin implementing these 3 practices of great leaders and watch your groups flourish like never before!
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By Chad Cronin, Rooted Network Coach
