How to Become a Grateful Person

Studies have proven the importance of thankfulness.

A group of Harvard researchers did a massive study on thankfulness.1 They identified a grateful person as someone who writes down three things he or she is thankful for, twice per day, and then shares about that gratitude with someone. Researchers determined that gratitude reprograms the mind, leading to greater creativity, energy, optimism, social connection, health, forgiveness, generosity, and joy. The study also found that men tend to feel more indebted, obligated, and anxious when expressing gratitude, so they get an even greater return for gratitude than women when they do express it. Another study showed the healing power of gratitude for anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. I love it when studies show that what God says has been true all along. After all, the Bible says that when you’re grateful, you actually enter into God's presence.

Here's a fun, working definition of thankfulness and a thankful person: A thankful person is a person who wants what they have. You are responsible for your thankfulness quotient, for wanting what you have. As the Bible says, “Pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18). God's will for you is becoming a thankful person. 

Thankfulness has power. When God’s people under King Jehoshaphat were threatened by a foreign army, they were terrified. God told them to fight the battle with a group of people to sing praise and call out thanksgiving to God in front of the army. They did, going out, conquering the invaders, and defeating the darkness. And there is a lot of darkness in our lives—stress, anxiety, confusion, loss, and pain. Relationships are broken. Our society is divided and worn out. The light of gratitude in our hearts can help defeat this darkness. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His faithful love endures forever

Thankfulness is wanting what you have, because you understand that everything you have is a gift from God. This is much different than the world's message. We are constantly bombarded with advertising that says that things should be better for us. This messaging tells us that our car, our apartment, our clothes, our furniture, everything we have could be better and should be better. Marketing tells us that we deserve better, that just one more thing that would make the difference. We must discipline ourselves to think in a different way.  

We must embrace thankfulness and say, “I want what I have.” When you see your tired, dinged car in the parking lot, just next to the car of your dreams, walk up to your car, grab the handle and say, “I want my car. It couldn't be better.” When you open up your closet, seeing your dated, worn clothes, say, “I love my clothes. They couldn’t be better.” When you walk into work, seeing your colleagues, say, “I love the people I work with. They couldn’t be better.” When you see yourself in the mirror, say, “I love my body. It couldn’t be better.” When you look at your wife or husband, your kids, and your friends, say, “I love the people in my life. They couldn’t be better.” 

Coffee drinkers illustrate what a grateful heart looks like. A coffee drinker wakes up in the morning, stumbling into the kitchen or a coffee shop, and they hold that first cup of coffee in their hands like it’s their own private fireplace. They breathe in the aroma, enjoying one of God’s greatest gifts before that first, anticipated sip. They sip it, and say, “Ah!” That's what a grateful person says. They look at their car, and they say, “Ah!” They look at their clothes, and they say, “Ah!” They look at their colleagues, and they say, “Ah!” They look at their body, and they say, “Ah!” They look at their people, and they say, “Ah!” Thankful people want what they have and contented people don't want any more than that.  

Contentment means not wanting any more. Remember it this way. Who is more content, the man with five kids or the man with $50 million? Obviously, the man with five kids, because he doesn't want any more. The apostle Paul explains, “I have learned to be content” (Philippians 4:11). We aren’t born with contentment. Nobody is naturally content. All of us are discontent. All of us think we need more. We must learn contentment. 

So, let’s learn together. When you see a gadget, maybe a drone or (where I live) a new surfboard or camping gear, say, “I don’t need it.” When you see that dream car in your favorite color with perfectly happy and beautiful people driving them, say, “I don’t need it.” When you see those trendy clothes, say, “I don't need it.” When you watch HGTV and see the new kitchen or bathroom, say, “I don't need it.” If I gave my wife one day of shopping, would she be happy forever? Of course, the answer is, “No.” If you’re tempted to buy a lottery ticket and win half a billion dollars, say, “I don’t need it.” Your heavenly Father loves you so much, that if you needed half a billion dollars, he would give it to you. But he knows that it would ruin you, so he doesn’t. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His faithful love endures forever. 

When Paul teaches how to address anxiety, notice what he says: “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6-7). You must practice thanksgiving. David models this, writing a list of things he’s thankful for in Psalm 103: forgiveness, healing, redemption, and more. So, make a list of things you're grateful for, and share it. Say it out loud. This isn't just a self-reformation project. This is joining in the work that God is doing in your life. 

I'll show you how easy it is. This morning I wrote down three things. First, my wife, her companionship, and the fun we have together. Second, my health. Third, my grandkids and relationships. Then, I made a second list in the afternoon. First, I love the work that I get to do these days. Second, I love the pastor of our church. He has led the church so well, focusing on Jesus when everyone else wants to focus on everything else. Third, I love seeing lives changed in the church. Those are my lists. According to Harvard, I'm a grateful person. Don't you want to join me? Make a list. Any time you say, “Thank you,” you are coming into the presence of God, acknowledging that every good gift is from God. This transforms our heart.

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Excerpted and adapted from My Anxious Thoughts: And What the Bible Says About Them, a 5-week Bible study from Eric Geiger, Christine Caine, and Kenton Beshore. We invite you to download a free sample of the study. 

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1 "Giving thanks can make you happier," Harvard Health, Aug. 14, 2021, https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier.

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