Orient. Experience. Debrief.
A pastor’s guide to leading meaningful discipleship moments in small groups.
Think of an experience that shaped who you've become.
Maybe it's a positive one, or perhaps it's a hard one. Experiences shape us in ways that learning often can't. You can learn something in a book, but experiencing it ingrains it more deeply. Experiences create positive moments that become memorable and meaningful for us. In other words, it often takes a moment to make a moment.
Within the framework of the Rooted experience, there are a few experiences we want people to have: the prayer experience, repenting together, and serving with one another. But how do you lead through these experiences? I want to suggest 3 steps to help you do this.
Orient — Setting the Stage
Orientation is that time of meeting before the experience. This sets the tone and expectations for people. It's said that one of the best ways to build trust with one another is to set clear expectations, so everybody knows what is happening. This is especially true when experiencing something new together with a group of people who may or may not have done something like what you are about to do.
Orientation prepares hearts and allows space for the Holy Spirit to move. The structure always submits to the Holy Spirit's movement, but it's helpful to have a structure and to prepare people well so that they can more easily sense when and where the Spirit is moving.
Remember, people don't mind being surprised, but they don't like being shocked. The difference is that shock is something we don't see coming, while a surprise is something new but within a familiar framework.
Experience — Fully Engage
This is where prayer, repentance, or serving happens. What are the things we want people to experience, to feel, to engage in, to grow in? It's not just about “getting the thing done”, but going on a journey together, having a common bond that unites us, a shared practice that we can look back on and say we did this together and we're different as a result of it.
Debrief — Spill the Tea
This is that moment of looking back to say, "What did God just do?" It creates a space to share what people experienced, what they felt, what they sensed, what was hard, what was new, and what was different. What caught them by surprise?
Debriefing helps people connect with and internalize the experience more effectively. Sometimes we can move so quickly from one thing to the next that we lose the rearview mirror. But taking time to debrief together helps us to see what has happened.
I remember an experience where I knew God had shared something with me during Lectio Divina Prayer. I thought, "Of course He did. That's what this text shares." But as others shared what God had said to them, the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "Hey. I gave you something just for you." I would have missed and even maybe dismissed what God was saying had we not debriefed together.
Debriefing helps us look to the future, to see that what we just did doesn't have to be a one-off, but can become part of our regular rhythms in life.
Taken together, these 3 steps make the most of these significant moments. Orienting, fully engaging in the experiencing, and debriefing solidify these powerful moments into life-changing markers that move people further on their journey with Jesus.
